in a little while

it's been a while since my last post,
nah...it's been a year

nothing much changes, and that might be the problem
what's the point of keep doing the same routine over and over again?
yet it is always me who's been the problem

lack of motivation, lack of desire

this blog was meant to be my vehicle, to learn and practice how to write. yet my skill has gone nowhere. a step back i supposed.
my english are not getting better
my paper has not been written
i add zero in my spanish vocabulary
I have no idea about what and how should I write

I understand and fully aware that there's a lot of thing I do not know, that what I know is just a handful sand compare to the desert of knowledge along the history of mankind, yet I haven't done a thing to move forward, to grow.

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judul-judulan

udah sering, bahkan keseringan baca buku-bukunya paulo coelho, ajahn brahm, de mello, dsbg. still, nothing change. think i'm going nowhere. pinter enggak, kaya enggak, berguna enggak,hepi juga enggak.

few years ago, before i got a job, this is what kind of life I thought I'm going to lived :

1. penempatan di kalimantan, tiap weekend ngajar anak-anak di pedalaman (sok banget emang. kaya kalimantan isinya masih hutan rimba aja. padahal kata mas-mas greenpeace sekian hektarnya hutan itu selalu berkurang karena diganti sama kebon sawit atau diambilin kayunya buat pabrik kertas)
2. penempatan di lombok atau bali, atau daerah lain yang pantainya bagus lah,,EVERYDAY IS HOLIDAY!!YEAH!! singing : "i wanna have fun everyday, so dont judge me anyway, so what the f**k they say". bayangin aja, tiap sore pulang kantor duduk-duduk di teras sambil ngeteh, baca buku, jemuran di pantai,nonton bocah-bocah maen bola di lapangan

Apa sih yang belum kita tau?

udah banyak banget yang ngatain buat jangan takut mengejar mimpi, its okay (and awesome) to be a dreamer......don't be afraid to dream big......work hard for your dream.........juga jangan takut akan perubahan......jangan takut untuk ngambil resiko.........selalu bersyukur karena apa yang sudah kita dapat selama ini merupakan berkah yang luar biasa yang ga semua orang bisa dapet, bla...bla...bla...

I think thats the message we get from alchemist, laskar pelangi tetralogy-nya andrea hirata, dont stop believingnya journey, michael phelps life story, even forest gump. 

But still, here i am, facing a situation which i dont know how to choose, which path i should take, what God really want me to do. saya orang yang percaya bahwa apapun yang telah disiapkan buat saya itu pasti adalah yang terbaik. tidak pernah rencana-Nya salah.

Tapi yang mana yang udah disiapin buat saya......??yang mana....??

another year in waiting, 

two valentine day in a row with these cake, i still prefer to be with you baby,,,,,

:wink

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'people always leave'

-salah satu quote yg tertempel di kamar saudara-

'friends may come, and they may go'

-stay with you, john legend-

mungkin waktu saudara saya nulis quote tersebut, dia baru saja mendengar john legend di radio. mungkin juga john legend belum kenal saudara saya (bukan mungkin lagi dink)

mati satu, tumbuh seribu

ga capek apa ya??

jadi,apa intinya??people always come and go.so you have to be strong man,,gantungkan harapanmu setinggi langit.jangan digantungin ke orang lain. harapanmu bisa membunuhmu

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